Hercule Poirot- the Complete Short Stories Read online

  “It’s all very well,” I remarked heatedly, “but that last answer must have damned your precious theory, grin as you please!”

  “As usual, you see nothing, Hastings. That last answer is, on the contrary, the copingstone of my theory.”

  I flung up my hands in despair.

  “I give it up.”

  II

  When we were in the train, speeding towards London, Poirot wrote busily for a few minutes, sealing up the result in an envelope.

  “This is for the good Inspector McNeil. We will leave it at Scotland Yard in passing, and then to the Rendezvous Restaurant, where I have asked Miss Esmée Farquhar to do us the honour of dining with us.”

  “What about Ridgeway?”

  “What about him?” asked Poirot with a twinkle.

  “Why, you surely don’t think—you can’t—”

  “The habit of incoherence is growing upon you, Hastings. As a matter of fact I did think. If Ridgeway had been the thief—which was perfectly possible—the case would have been charming; a piece of neat methodical work.”

  “But not so charming for Miss Farquhar.”

  “Possibly you are right. Therefore all is for the best. Now, Hastings, let us review the case. I can see that you are dying to do so. The sealed package is removed from the trunk and vanishes, as Miss Farquhar puts it, into thin air. We will dismiss the thin air theory, which is not practicable at the present stage of science, and consider what is likely to have become of it. Everyone asserts the incredulity of its being smuggled ashore—”

  “Yes, but we know—”

  “You may know, Hastings, I do not. I take the view that, since it seemed incredible, it was incredible. Two possibilities remain: it was hidden on board—also rather difficult—or it was thrown overboard.”

  “With a cork on it, do you mean?”

  “Without a cork.”

  I stared.

  “But if the bonds were thrown overboard, they couldn’t have been sold in New York.”

  “I admire your logical mind, Hastings. The bonds were sold in New York, therefore they were not thrown overboard. You see where that leads us?”

  “Where we were when we started.”

  “Jamais de la vie! If the package was thrown overboard and the bonds were sold in New York, the package could not have contained the bonds. Is there any evidence that the package did contain the bonds? Remember, Mr. Ridgeway never opened it from the time it was placed in his hands in London.”

  “Yes, but then—”

  Poirot waved an impatient hand.

  “Permit me to continue. The last moment that the bonds are seen as bonds is in the office of the London and Scottish Bank on the morning of the 23rd. They reappear in New York half an hour after the Olympia gets in, and according to one man, whom nobody listens to, actually before she gets in. Supposing then, that they have never been on the Olympia at all? Is there any other way they could get to New York? Yes. The Gigantic leaves Southampton on the same day as the Olympia, and she holds the record for the Atlantic. Mailed by the Gigantic, the bonds would be in New York the day before the Olympia arrived. All is clear, the case begins to explain itself. The sealed packet is only a dummy, and the moment of its substitution must be in the office in the bank. It would be an easy matter for any of the three men present to have prepared a duplicate package which could be substituted for the genuine one. Très bien, the bonds are mailed to a confederate in New York, with instructions to sell as soon as the Olympia is in, but someone must travel on the Olympia to engineer the supposed moment of robbery.”

  “But why?”

  “Because if Ridgeway merely opens the packet and finds it a dummy, suspicion flies at once to London. No, the man on board in the cabin next door does his work, pretends to force the lock in an obvious manner so as to draw immediate attention to the theft, really unlocks the trunk with a duplicate key, throws the package overboard and waits until the last to leave the boat. Naturally he wears glasses to conceal his eyes, and is an invalid since he does not want to run the risk of meeting Ridgeway. He steps ashore in New York and returns by the first boat available.”

  “But who—which was he?”

  “The man who had a duplicate key, the man who ordered the lock, the man who has not been severely ill with bronchitis at his home in the country—enfin, the ‘stodgy’ old man, Mr. Shaw! There are criminals in high places sometimes, my friend. Ah, here we are, Mademoiselle, I have succeeded! You permit?”

  And, beaming, Poirot kissed the astonished girl lightly on either cheek!

  Ten

  THE ADVENTURE OF THE CHEAP FLAT

  “The Adventure of the Cheap Flat” was first published in The Sketch, May 9, 1923.

  So far, in the cases which I have recorded, Poirot’s investigations have started from the central fact, whether murder or robbery, and have proceeded from thence by a process of logical deduction to the final triumphant unravelling. In the events I am now about to chronicle a remarkable chain of circumstances led from the apparently trivial incidents which first attracted Poirot’s attention to the sinister happenings which completed a most unusual case.

  I had been spending the evening with an old friend of mine, Gerald Parker. There had been, perhaps, about half a dozen people there besides my host and myself, and the talk fell, as it was bound to do sooner or later wherever Parker found himself, on the subject of house-hunting in London. Houses and flats were Parker’s special hobby. Since the end of the War, he had occupied at least half a dozen different flats and maisonettes. No sooner was he settled anywhere than he would light unexpectedly upon a new find, and would forthwith depart bag and baggage. His moves were nearly always accomplished at a slight pecuniary gain, for he had a shrewd business head, but it was sheer love of the sport that actuated him, and not a desire to make money at it. We listened to Parker for some time with the respect of the novice for the expert. Then it was our turn, and a perfect babel of tongues was let loose. Finally the floor was left to Mrs. Robinson, a charming little bride who was there with her husband. I had never met them before, as Robinson was only a recent acquaintance of Parker’s.

  “Talking of flats,” she said, “have you heard of our piece of luck, Mr. Parker? We’ve got a flat—at last! In Montagu Mansions.”

  “Well,” said Parker, “I’ve always said there are plenty of flats—at a price!”

  “Yes, but this isn’t at a price. It’s dirt cheap. Eighty pounds a year!”

  “But—but Montagu Mansions is just off Knightsbridge, isn’t it? Big handsome building. Or are you talking of a poor relation of the same name stuck in the slums somewhere?”

  “No, it’s the Knightsbridge one. That’s what makes it so wonderful.”

  “Wonderful is the word! It’s a blinking miracle. But there must be a catch somewhere. Big premium, I suppose?”

  “No premium!”

  “No prem—oh, hold my head, somebody!” groaned Parker.

  “But we’ve got to buy the furniture,” continued Mrs. Robinson.

  “Ah!” Parker bristled up. “I knew there was a catch!”

  “For fifty pounds. And it’s beautifully furnished!”

  “I give it up,” said Parker. “The present occupants must be lunatics with a taste for philanthropy.”

  Mrs. Robinson was looking a little troubled. A little pucker appeared between her dainty brows.

  “It is queer, isn’t it? You don’t think that—that—the place is haunted?”

  “Never heard of a haunted flat,” declared Parker decisively.

  “No-o.” Mrs. Robinson appeared far from convinced. “But there were several things about it all that struck me as—well, queer.”

  “For instance—” I suggested.

  “Ah,” said Parker, “our criminal expert’s attention is aroused! Unburden yourself to him, Mrs. Robinson. Hastings is a great unraveller of mysteries.”

  I laughed, embarrassed, but not wholly displeased with the rôle thrust upon me.

&
nbsp; “Oh, not really queer, Captain Hastings, but when we went to the agents, Stosser and Paul—we hadn’t tried them before because they only have the expensive Mayfair flats, but we thought at any rate it would do no harm—everything they offered us was four and five hundred a year, or else huge premiums, and then, just as we were going, they mentioned that they had a flat at eighty, but that they doubted if it would be any good our going there, because it had been on their books some time and they had sent so many people to see it that it was almost sure to be taken—‘snapped up’ as the clerk put it—only people were so tiresome in not letting them know, and then they went on sending, and people get annoyed at being sent to a place that had, perhaps, been let some time.”

  Mrs. Robinson paused for some much needed breath, and then continued:

  “We thanked him, and said that we quite understood it would probably be no good, but that we should like an order all the same—just in case. And we went there straight away in a taxi, for, after all, you never know. No. 4 was on the second floor, and just as we were waiting for the lift, Elsie Ferguson—she’s a friend of mine, Captain Hastings, and they are looking for a flat too—came hurrying down the stairs. ‘Ahead of you for once, my dear,’ she said. ‘But it’s no good. It’s already let.’ That seemed to finish it, but—well, as John said, the place was very cheap, we could afford to give more, and perhaps if we offered a premium. A horrid thing to do, of course, and I feel quite ashamed of telling you, but you know what flat-hunting is.”

  I assured her that I was well aware that in the struggle for houseroom the baser side of human nature frequently triumphed over the higher, and that the well-known rule of dog eat dog always applied.

  “So we went up and, would you believe it, the flat wasn’t let at all. We were shown over it by the maid, and then we saw the mistress, and the thing was settled then and there. Immediate possession and fifty pounds for the furniture. We signed the agreement next day, and we are to move in tomorrow!” Mrs. Robinson paused triumphantly.

  “And what about Mrs. Ferguson?” asked Parker. “Let’s have your deductions, Hastings.”

  “ ‘Obvious, my dear Watson,’ ” I quoted lightly. “She went to the wrong flat.”

  “Oh, Captain Hastings, how clever of you!” cried Mrs. Robinson admiringly.

  I rather wished Poirot had been there. Sometimes I have the feeling that he rather underestimates my capabilities.

  II

  The whole thing was rather amusing, and I propounded the thing as a mock problem to Poirot on the following morning. He seemed interested, and questioned me rather narrowly as to the rents of flats in various localities.

  “A curious story,” he said thoughtfully. “Excuse me, Hastings, I must take a short stroll.”

  When he returned, about an hour later, his eyes were gleaming with a peculiar excitement. He laid his stick on the table, and brushed the nap of his hat with his usual tender care before he spoke.

  “It is as well, mon ami, that we have no affairs of moment on hand. We can devote ourselves wholly to the present investigation.”

  “What investigation are you talking about?”

  “The remarkable cheapness of your friend, Mrs. Robinson’s, new flat.”

  “Poirot, you are not serious!”

  “I am most serious. Figure to yourself, my friend, that the real rent of those flats is £350. I have just ascertained that from the landlord’s agents. And yet this particular flat is being sublet at eighty pounds! Why?”

  “There must be something wrong with it. Perhaps it is haunted, as Mrs. Robinson suggested.”

  Poirot shook his head in a dissatisfied manner.

  “Then again how curious it is that her friend tells her the flat is let, and, when she goes up, behold, it is not so at all!”

  “But surely you agree with me that the other woman must have gone to the wrong flat. That is the only possible solution.”

  “You may or may not be right on that point, Hastings. The fact still remains that numerous other applicants were sent to see it, and yet, in spite of its remarkable cheapness, it was still in the market when Mrs. Robinson arrived.”

  “That shows that there must be something wrong about it.”

  “Mrs. Robinson did not seem to notice anything amiss. Very curious, is it not? Did she impress you as being a truthful woman, Hastings?”

  “She was a delightful creature!”

  “Evidemment! since she renders you incapable of replying to my question. Describe her to me, then.”

  “Well, she’s tall and fair; her hair’s really a beautiful shade of auburn—”

  “Always you have had a penchant for auburn hair!” murmured Poirot. “But continue.”

  “Blue eyes and a very nice complexion and—well, that’s all, I think,” I concluded lamely.

  “And her husband?”

  “Oh, he’s quite a nice fellow—nothing startling.”

  “Dark or fair?”

  “I don’t know—betwixt and between, and just an ordinary sort of face.”

  Poirot nodded.

  “Yes, there are hundreds of these average men—and anyway, you bring more sympathy and appreciation to your description of women. Do you know anything about these people? Does Parker know them well?”

  “They are just recent acquaintances, I believe. But surely, Poirot, you don’t think for an instant—”

  Poirot raised his hand.

  “Tout doucement, mon ami. Have I said that I think anything? All I say is—it is a curious story. And there is nothing to throw light upon it; except perhaps the lady’s name, eh, Hastings?”

  “Her name is Stella,” I said stiffly, “but I don’t see—”

  Poirot interrupted me with a tremendous chuckle. Something seemed to be amusing him vastly.

  “And Stella means a star, does it not? Famous!”

  “What on earth—?”

  “And stars give light! Voilà! Calm yourself, Hastings. Do not put on that air of injured dignity. Come, we will go to Montagu Mansions and make a few inquiries.”

  I accompanied him, nothing loath. The Mansions were a handsome block of buildings in excellent repair. A uniformed porter was sunning himself on the threshold, and it was to him that Poirot addressed himself.

  “Pardon, but would you tell me if a Mr. and Mrs. Robinson reside here?”

  The porter was a man of few words and apparently of a sour or suspicious disposition. He hardly looked at us and grunted out:

  “No. 4. Second floor.”

  “I thank you. Can you tell me how long they have been here?”

  “Six months.”

  I started forward in amazement, conscious as I did so of Poirot’s malicious grin.

  “Impossible,” I cried. “You must be making a mistake.”

  “Six months.”

  “Are you sure? The lady I mean is tall and fair with reddish gold hair and—”

  “That’s ’er,” said the porter. “Come in the Michaelmas quarter, they did. Just six months ago.”

  He appeared to lose interest in us and retreated slowly up the hall. I followed Poirot outside.

  “Eh bien, Hastings?” my friend demanded slyly. “Are you so sure now that delightful women always speak the truth?”

  I did not reply.

  Poirot had steered his way into Brompton Road before I asked him what he was going to do and where we were going.

  “To the house agents, Hastings. I have a great desire to have a flat in Montagu Mansions. If I am not mistaken, several interesting things will take place there before long.”

  We were fortunate in our quest. No. 8, on the fourth floor, was to be let furnished at ten guineas a week, Poirot promptly took it for a month. Outside in the street again, he silenced my protests:

  “But I make money nowadays! Why should I not indulge a whim? By the way, Hastings, have you a revolver?”

  “Yes—somewhere,” I answered, slightly thrilled. “Do you think—”

  “That you will n
eed it? It is quite possible. The idea pleases you, I see. Always the spectacular and romantic appeals to you.”

  The following day saw us installed in our temporary home. The flat was pleasantly furnished. It occupied the same position in the building as that of the Robinsons, but was two floors higher.

  The day after our installation was a Sunday. In the afternoon, Poirot left the front door ajar, and summoned me hastily as a bang reverberated from somewhere below.

  “Look over the banisters. Are those your friends? Do not let them see you.”

  I craned my neck over the staircase.

  “That’s them,” I declared in an ungrammatical whisper.

  “Good. Wait awhile.”

  About half an hour later, a young woman emerged in brilliant and varied clothing. With a sigh of satisfaction, Poirot tiptoed back into the flat.

  “C’est ça. After the master and mistress, the maid. The flat should now be empty.”

  “What are we going to do?” I asked uneasily.

  Poirot had trotted briskly into the scullery and was hauling at the rope of the coal lift.

  “We are about to descend after the method of the dustbins,” he explained cheerfully. “No one will observe us. The Sunday concert, the Sunday ‘afternoon out,’ and finally the Sunday nap after the Sunday dinner of England—le rosbif—all these will distract attention from the doings of Hercule Poirot. Come, my friend.”

  He stepped into the rough wooden contrivance and I followed him gingerly.

  “Are we going to break into the flat?” I asked dubiously.

  Poirot’s answer was not too reassuring:

  “Not precisely today,” he replied.

  Pulling on the rope, we descended slowly till we reached the second floor. Poirot uttered an exclamation of satisfaction as he perceived that the wooden door into the scullery was open.

  “You observe? Never do they bolt these doors in the daytime. And yet anyone could mount or descend as we have done. At night, yes—though not always then—and it is against that that we are going to make provision.”

  He had drawn some tools from his pocket as he spoke, and at once set deftly to work, his object being to arrange the bolt so that it could be pulled back from the lift. The operation only occupied about three minutes. Then Poirot returned the tools to his pocket, and we reascended once more to our own domain.